week 10: TO EVERYTHING . . .

Cards from the Mary-el Tarot

This week I thought I might use Lubanko Tarot, as I went to see Emily speak about her deck last week. (The new edition is quite nice and while I don’t particularly need borderless editions, the lack of borders makes the deck a little smaller and the thinner stock easier to shuffle. I think complainers will whine about the thin stock, but I think it shuffles like buttah . . . especially have the deck I did use this week). E. talked about the influence of the Mary-el Tarot by Marie White. I’ve had the deck for ages, although far less longer than it’s been available. I’d ordered the new print, which was on less angry-making card stock (despite the bowdlerization of a few of the cards)—but I wound up with the OG. It is a beast to shuffle and my poor hands aren’t up to it, but I made it happen. Also, my Wheel of Fortune was somewhat damaged when a shelf fell onto the deck, and that’s the card I got to, today, so I wonder if it’ll always cut at or near it, now. 
Anyway, the primary reason for avoiding this deck was the stock, Schiffer has never given a flying fuck about whether or not their decks are usable, and, in fact, any aren’t—even post-glossiness. 

But it wasn’t just the stock—I never really “got” the deck or the evangelical response it earned from a lot of folks, and anything that smacks of zeitgeistiness makes me cranky. I think the art is stunning and I love when an artist makes tarot their own. But I didn’t feel connected to it. I do, however, feel incredibly connected to the Lubanko deck and now that I see the influence, I felt compelled to try the Mary-el again. So I carbed up this morning preparing to shuffle. (Kidding.)

Today, the cards presented are:
3 of disks (4), Emperor (2), Wheel (1),  Queen of swords (3), 8 of wands (5)

I also augmented the Wheel, thus:
8 of swords — itself augmented by the 9 of swords and 7 of swords.

It’s a lotta stuff, so let’s get to it!

The Wheel “sits” on the 8 of Swords and it’s look, “look, bitch: cycles. This mindfuck hellscape you keep yourself trapped in could benefit from some evaluation. Think you’re the first people to suffer? Look around.”

Swords have everything to do with perception, and this suggests that we need to remember we’re actually not imprisoned right now (unless we are), which means that there’s still things that can be done—and, yeah, it’s a lot of shit to consider, which is why the energy should be granted to the thoughts that are productive rather than burdensome. 

The array augmenting the Wheel from below is 9, 8, 7 in that order. Literally think smaller. It’s the overwhelm that gets you, and it’s entirely the point. They keep you running in so many directions, worried about so many things, that instead of worrying about the things that matter, you’re worrying about everything or nothing and you shut off and check out. Not good.

(A sidebar: I remember trying to work with this deck at once point and thinking that I found the art distracting. I recalled hearing Marseille-style readers say that about Waite-Smith decks when I was starting out and I found it appalling. But I also found Marseille-style decks appalling, too. Or, well, ugly as fuck, anyway. I don’t know how long ago it was that I attempted to work with, but I actually still feel that way about it. It’s not an insult to the deck. It’s that it’s just such a rich, dense story on each card and I just don’t really sink into images the way that others do. It’s probably one reason why I use so many more cards than a lot of other readers, too. I actually like to work quickly before my brain starts overthinking things. And that’s definitely what I’m doing here, but I can’t express how much I want to pick up and study each of the cards. The deck is actually even more beautiful than I recall—and I never thought it was ugly. Just overwhelming. Which is one reason I was irked by the replacement of some of the cards in the new edition which has, I’m told, easier-to-handle cards. I called it bowdlerizing above. Bowdler was a publisher to created the Family Shakespeare in the early 1800s, in which he removed anything “unsanitary.” — might shock to you to know that he earned the [dubious] credit, it was actually his sister Harriet who did the work. Either way, “bowdlerizing” quickly became a term for “sanitizing” [defanging] work. I was pleased to hear that the Lubanko tarot was not bowdlerized for the mass market edition, though Lubanko—on her own—created two alts for the lovers. I wasn’t shocked to hear that another publisher made an offer and then told her to change a bunch of shit.)

The Wheel itself is flanked by (on the left) the 3 of disks and the Emperor and (on the right) by the Queen of Swords and the 8 of wands. 

Let’s do the right side first, because we see more swords and another 8. 

Queens are the embodiment of their suit and the 8 of wands is the fullness of directed labor. Smart bitches put their back into the shit that will yield change. 

On the left, the 3 of disks and the Emperor tell us the power of the empire is growing. 

Uh oh! 

Except, what? 

The fucking Wheel there in the middle—the only card we’ve only glanced at. Cycles. 

I’m writing this on Saturday, though it’s typically a Sunday thing. But I’m reading at a Halloween event tomorrow and I was reading at one last night, and I cannot tell you—I think I told every person sitting across from me that they had permission to be optimistic. Do I believe that? No. Did I confess to my clients that I’m a cynic who agrees there’s not much to be optimistic about? Yes, and they agreed with me—but I couldn’t avoid what the cards were telling me, and I’m not a reader to only sees sunshine. In fact, I had at least one “Yeah, he might come back but he’s gonna do it again” reading, so I wasn’t just giving everyone good news. But even that client got the go-ahead of optimism as the reading went on. 

And I think it’s because each of the readings also could be encapsulated in one way or another by the swords cards augmenting the Wheel and by the two cards to the Wheels’ right. But your energy into the shit that will impact you in the best way, and things will work out better. 

And I’m not one of those leftists interested in the status quo anymore. I was, but that’s over. I do not see any future in the world that so-called “liberal democracy” (pedos running everything and the wealthiest people throwing carrots at us to make us think we’re happy) has crafted, so I’m not saying we’re going to see a return to what we had. Not by a long shot. In fact I got Death in at least three readings last night, and if I’m right it showed up a couple more than that. Death doesn’t mean dying, but it does mean there’s no going back to before. So when I say “work out better” I don’t mean “go back to a world where white lefties are comfortably able to avoid participating in the liberation of the people they claim to be allies to.” 

I just don’t know what it is yet. And though I’ve considered pulling cards to tell me, I don’t know if I’d believe anything it said. 

Once thing I’ll say, though . . . being forced by the readings to say that to folx last night actually started to make me feel better. And I was not feeling particularly good when I arrived at the event. While I love doing those, the set up kill me. Lugging a card table and chairs, along with all the crap I put on my table to make it look inviting, well . . . it annoys me. And the event space screwed up the assignments, so I wound up inadvertently getting myself shoved in the least visible spot in the reading area and spending the first forty-five minutes watching clients flock to everyone but me. 

Actually, if you want to stick around for a little more confessing . . . when I finally did get a client, she came up to me and kind of rudely showed me the little token that gets attached to our bios that clients take so everyone in line knows that reader is working at the moment—and she sorta tossed it at the table and said, “what do you do?” She kinda looked at my little menu that I made to help people who don’t know what to get a reading about and said, “Oh you do TAROT,” with disappointment. And I thought, “Oh, Jesus. This is it, I’m done with these events—I can’t deal with this.” 

I tried to put on my happy face and she said, “you just read cards, right? You don’t like . . . ?” The “just read cards” made me feel awesome and then the implication that my inability to do the “like . . . ?” (which I assume meant, like, psychic channeling or clairsentience?), and I kind of firmly said, “N0, I don’t channel.” And I expected her to walk away and instead she sat down. “Here we go,” I thought.  

She didn’t have a question and didn’t look particularly interested in even giving me a chance, so I was kinda surprised she was . . . ya know . . . giving me a chance. I started reading and a few minutes in she stopped me to get her phone out and record it. 

She let is slip a few minutes later that I was actually — I wouldn’t say “doing a good job”? But maybe like . . . serving face? I guess? I don’t know. 

It was the first time I relaxed the entire time I’d been there, including lugging all my shit and getting drenched in sweat setting it up. 

I’m, I think, going to make a video about this, but I thought it was interesting that I’d somehow won her over. The rest of the night flew by and was a blast, which is good because it stopped me shopping, which I’m tempted to do on nights when the market is slow.

Anyway, just a fun anecdote for you—though I have notes for readers as a result. Evil laugh. 

Until next week. ​